Spikeballer of the Week AND the World’s First Spikeball CITY of the Month…
Aloha from the tropical beaches of Playa de Spike de Ball. I’ve been getting some great responses from you all on the Spikeballer series. In addition to the never ending notes of “you suck, Chris” I’ve been getting some saying how big Spikeball is getting in their town/city. One of those is a little gem called Milwaukee. Not familiar? Yes you are…as the great Alice Cooper said…
“In fact , it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.”
So, we are going to do a little experiment this month: Milwaukee is the world’s first “Spikeball CITY of the Month”. Over the next few weeks we’ll be highlighting one amazing Spikeballer of the Week from the place that brought us PBR, Schlitz, Miller, Lakefront Brewery, Fonzie, Jeffrey Dahmer (ouch!), Marquette Univ, The Avalanche (bar), beautiful beaches, and a police report with yours truly on it (I swear I’m innocent…kind of)
To do this right, we brought in the big guns. Trenni Kusnierek as an on air reporter for MLB Network. Those of you in the ‘Burgh will remember her as sports anchor at WDJT a few years back. Oh yea, she also completed this year’s Boston Marathon. What have you done? Didn’t think so. In addition to all of that, she can add the oh so sweet title of ‘Sr. Spikeball Badass Correspondent’.
She took our q’s and put her own spin on them. Let’s see how it went…
Ballin’ with a Base Tan
by Trenni Kusnierek
Ladies and Gentlemen, we go back to Bradford Beach in Milwaukee for this installment of ‘Spikeballer of the Week’. This time around, the honor is bestowed on one M Parsons.
Parsons may have found his calling. After pretending to live on the beach while watching Lost for six straight seasons, “Parsy” is living the dream of minimal showers and dominating the beach with Spikeball. If only the Candidates had thought to bring their Spikeball sets on Oceanic 815… Forget Jack or Sawyer, Milwaukee has Parsons.
*Where do you live?
Milwaukee, WI
*Hometown:?
Madison, WI
*Best vacation?
3 week family vacation w/ the ‘rents visiting my sister in Viet Nam where my ‘rents paid for everything.
*Worst vacation?
3 week family vacation w/ the ‘rents visiting my sister in Viet Nam. Never take a family vaca in a country where there are no rules…it is Nam you know.
*Occupation?
Recruiter, we help the deaf talk on the telephone. I interview candidates all day and either make their dreams come true by hiring them or crush them and make them feel inadequate.
*How long have you been Spikeballin’?
1 year
*Will Ferrell or Chris Farley?
Definitely Chris Farley. Before he died, my buddy ran into him in Madison. He was wearing army boots, cutoff sweatpants, yellow cop shades, a cheetah print sportscoat w/ no shirt on underneath and was sweaty as balls. Will Ferrell hasn’t been funny since Anchorman, except for Eastbound and Down. (Milwaukee reference: Farley went to Marquette…Ferrell didn’t)
*Favorite music group/artist?
Ween
*You bring the tunes to the beach, so what is the best “Spikeballin” song on your ipod?
Maybe a lil’ Black Betty by Ram if we need to turn up the intensity or The Isley Brothers Summer Breeze is always good at the beach
*What concert are you most embarrassed to have attended?
A Blues Traveler concert/pseudo date I went to as a freshman in high school. I sure as shit didn’t have any game back then and I think there might have been some attempt at slow dancing to a harmonica solo.
*Why did they pick you to be Spikeballer of the week?
My base tan is insane, I’m usually in charge of coordinating the beach day with Wesman, making sure we’re fully prepared and stocked with all the necessities that no one else remembers and I only play one way…Charlie’s Angels-Full Throttle. Did I mention my base tan is gonna be ridiculous this summer?
*What are you going to do with your prize money?
Stock up on temporary tats and c*%#rings
*Dream location for your next Spikeball game?
On top of an active volcano, so the losers go out Mortal Kombat style
*Who from LOST would you rather have as a spikeball teammate–Jack or Sawyer?
Probably Jack because Sawyer would make my base tan look like shit, but then again I could catch his overflow
*Which lady from LOST would you rather bring to the beach– Kate or Juliette?
Definitely Juliet, Kate would just jam everybody up half way to next Tuesday.
*Why do you think Milwaukee has become such a hotbed of spikeball dominance?
Bradford Beach used to be a ghost town, but since it got cleaned up, it’s the spot to be…much like The Island on LOST. As far as the Spikeball domination, I’d have to say it’s because it’s ingrained in our genes from birth and the desire to make Chicagoans lose
at one more thing other than to the Packers and at life.
*Pre-game meals? Rituals? Superstitions?
Usually a Bud Light, I don’t like to eat right before playing…got to keep the beach bod looking good. Usually some stretching concluded with the ol’ Cobra pose.
*Favorite Movie of all time?
It’s a toss up between the awesomeness of Ren McCormick in Footloose or the cockiness of Dalton in Road House.
*Katy Perry…worthy of Maxim’s top spot in the Hot 100? If no, who should reign supreme?
Katy Perry’s pretty smoking these days, but definitely not numero uno. I’m leaning more towards Victoria Secret supermodel Miranda Kerr.
*What else does the Spikeball community need to know about you?
Spikeball’s changed my life. I don’t care about things I used to. I only focus on succeeding in joining the Professional Spikeball Circuit (PSC), making other teams look foolish…and did I mention my base tan? Also, I did chat w/ Sprewell while taking a piss at the beach last summer, I’m going to try to get him involved in promoting Spikeball worldwide.
Trenni K at her day job with MLB Network.
